My RED LINES in the Sand.

There has been a lot of talk about "Red lines in the sand,' "Deal-breakers," "Game-Changers" and other "Oh no, he didn't!" moments in Washington, D.C. this week. It got me thinking about things that give me pause in a relationship. The things that push me toward a "defining moment" where I consider employing a "nuclear option.' (I think we have had enough quotes by now. Agreed?). Full disclosure: I am not in a romantic relationship (I am, however, taking referrals - LOL!) and I don't purport to be a relationship expert. I do recognize that all human interaction involves relationships. Everything you do that involves somebody else, however remote, is accomplished through a relationship. With that being said, here are my "strikes" (I couldn't resist another quote/metaphor). 1. Selfishness. Habitual and hapless selfishness is a deal-breaker in any healthy relationship. I know it's popular to talk about self-esteem and self-love and that's cool. But they are prerequisites to be in a healthy relationship. Afterward, service is the watchword. Focusing on yourself, and not the other, can be a non-starter, if not a deal-breaker. 2. Recklessness. We have all had our moments of willful abandon where we have thrown caution to the wind. That can be fun....in small doses. But a demonstrated pattern of bad decisions and disregard can indicate a level of irresponsibility. It's rare that relationships survive that type of instability. 3. Shortsightedness. And no, I'm not talking about the kind near-sighted vision that eye-glasses fix. I'm talking about a vision for your life. An idea of where you want to go. A direction, if not a map. To wander about aimlessly is a waste of time, resources,talent, and most importantly, purpose. Life is hard. But it is foolhardy to make it harder by neglecting your impact on others. We would do well to avoid crossing these lines in the sand. And perhaps we can find a way to get along better with the people walking along life's path with us. It makes the trip a lot easier.

Why I Marched

Saturday, I participated in the 50th Commemorative Anniversary of March on Washington. Friday, I wasn't sure I would go. And, Thursday, I was leaning heavily toward "Ugh, I seriously doubt it." Quite frankly, I didn't see the utility of marching. I didn't want to hit the streets to tell America that things suck for Black folk. Most of us know that our melanin comes infused with a social challenge. I didn't want to sing and chat. We've been doing that since we got here. I didn't want to be involved in a collective, mainly emotional, display. Emotions are fleeting and rarely useful as a political strategy. And, finally,haven't we been marching long enough? No. The way democracy works is that it responds to the voice of the people. And marching, chatting, singing, and shouting quite literally gives voice to our discontent. Things are not "alright" in America and we are still in pursuit of a more perfect union. I think we are headed in the right direction but we still have a ways to go. Without the force of the masses behind them, our political leaders are rendered powerless and hollow. But that's the "thing" isn't it? A march has to be tied to a message not simply a means to an end. A march is a tactic that should be part of a larger strategy. Not the strategy itself. So, after much singing, chatting, picture-taking, and yes, marching, I am challenging myself and my friends to stay the course. To keep demanding a fuller measure of justice. To keep calling for more economic opportunity. To keep to remembering how far we've come. And, yes, to keep marching, because we have so very far to go.