My RED LINES in the Sand.

There has been a lot of talk about "Red lines in the sand,' "Deal-breakers," "Game-Changers" and other "Oh no, he didn't!" moments in Washington, D.C. this week. It got me thinking about things that give me pause in a relationship. The things that push me toward a "defining moment" where I consider employing a "nuclear option.' (I think we have had enough quotes by now. Agreed?). Full disclosure: I am not in a romantic relationship (I am, however, taking referrals - LOL!) and I don't purport to be a relationship expert. I do recognize that all human interaction involves relationships. Everything you do that involves somebody else, however remote, is accomplished through a relationship. With that being said, here are my "strikes" (I couldn't resist another quote/metaphor). 1. Selfishness. Habitual and hapless selfishness is a deal-breaker in any healthy relationship. I know it's popular to talk about self-esteem and self-love and that's cool. But they are prerequisites to be in a healthy relationship. Afterward, service is the watchword. Focusing on yourself, and not the other, can be a non-starter, if not a deal-breaker. 2. Recklessness. We have all had our moments of willful abandon where we have thrown caution to the wind. That can be fun....in small doses. But a demonstrated pattern of bad decisions and disregard can indicate a level of irresponsibility. It's rare that relationships survive that type of instability. 3. Shortsightedness. And no, I'm not talking about the kind near-sighted vision that eye-glasses fix. I'm talking about a vision for your life. An idea of where you want to go. A direction, if not a map. To wander about aimlessly is a waste of time, resources,talent, and most importantly, purpose. Life is hard. But it is foolhardy to make it harder by neglecting your impact on others. We would do well to avoid crossing these lines in the sand. And perhaps we can find a way to get along better with the people walking along life's path with us. It makes the trip a lot easier.